


At Least Pretend

by Cant_We_Just_Dance



Series: Laflams Alex is ignored [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Breakups, Engagement, M/M, Multi, Neglect, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 19:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12539076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cant_We_Just_Dance/pseuds/Cant_We_Just_Dance
Summary: Alexander loves his boyfriends.Until he notices a diamond ring on John's finger.





	At Least Pretend

"It's fine if you never loved me," Alexander stated, plain as day and clearer than the diamond on John's engagement ring. "But you could have at least pretended that you do."

"Alex..." John gasped, turning around with wide eyes in shock. "H-how long have you-"

"Long enough to know that you and Lafayette are engaged," Alexander cut him off sharply, tears in his narrowed eyes. But not quite falling onto his cheeks- he refused to give John that sort of sick satisfaction. "And you have been for a while- when were you going to tell me?"

"...Eventually..." John murmured, suddenly seeming to take interest in the carpeting beneath his feet, as he refused to look at anything other than that. "I would have told you about it eventually."

"When is 'eventually', huh? Is it when you and Lafayette leave me so you can be happy and together without my fucking problems?" Alexander asked, the tears in his eyes glimmering as he clenched his fists and held back sobs. "Is that when 'eventually' is?!"

"Alexander, please... We still love you-" John attempted to tell the other man, interrupted by an inhuman sounding scream. 

"THEN WHY AM I JUST YOUR BOYFRIEND?!" Alexander shrieked, a single tears finally trailing down the smooth skin of his cheeks, quavering in its path as Alexander began shaking. "...Why does he love you enough to propose, but not to me? Why does Lafayette want to marry you- not 'us'? There hasn't been an 'us' for a while, huh? I just didn't get to know... Because he loves you. But when did both of you stop loving me?"

John stood in his place, shocked silent at the scene before him. His boyfriend was crying, shaking in front of him, already on the brim of sobbing in a ball on the floor. The man he loved- did he?

Staring at Alexander, he tried to think, tried to muster up an explanation, a reason why he loved him. All the memories faded into each other, becoming nothing more than a blur of the man in front of him and... And the man he loved. Each time he thought of an experience with Alexander that he cherished deeply, it always included Lafayette. 

Their first meeting? Lafayette had been there, with curls that framed his face and gleamed in the early afternoon sunlight as Alexander helped him up after bumping into him in the little cafe. 

The time they went to the park? It was only special because Lafayette had gotten chased by ducklings into a tree and refused to come down until the little yellow animals agreed not to attack him again. 

But what about their last anniversary? It had been magical, the single most amazing night of John's life. They'd gone to a lovely outdoor restaurant, with fairy lights in the trees and rose bushes all around. 

Lafayette had gotten down on one knee and proposed, and John had held back tears as the taller man slid the ring onto his finger... But Alexander was just finding out about the engagement now. So he wasn't at dinner, because...

Because they'd simply forgotten to invite him to the anniversary of the three of them being together. 

And John hadn't even noticed it. 

Looking Alexander in the eyes, John knew what would happen when Lafayette got home. Alexander would yell and cry and sob, and Lafayette would comfort him and come up with a somehow solid argument as to why he hadn't asked Alexander to marry him yet. Then they would cuddle for the rest of the night, focusing on making Alex comfortable- but John didn't want that, did he?

No. 

No he didn't. 

He didn't want Alexander taking up the space in Lafayette's heart that should have been reserved for John. 

He didn't care if Alexander cried for the rest of the night, or if he calmed down and went to bed. 

And most of all? He didn't want Alexander in his life. In hindsight, all the signs were already there. Forgetting to bring Alex on date night, not noticing if Alexander wasn't sleeping in bed with them most nights, walking past him when he worked until the early morning hours... he didn't care about Alexander. 

So when he stepped toward the shorter man, and gently tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, he leaned forward and whispered in a soft, almost-silent whisper-

"He didn't propose to you because neither of us love you. I suggest that you leave before you cause any more problems than you already have."


End file.
